Sunday, January 22, 2012
3:05 PM -- Random thoughts that sneak into my mind.
 Hi. Well, highly doubt anyone would really pass-by, but, yeah, Hi. I'm Jasmine, & I've never believed in keeping thoughts inside my mind, ('cept for certain situations). Thus, it's usually here that you'll see me talking to myself. It's pretty normal (on my terms). So, well.. yeah. Between the lines are snippets of my actual emotions, on a (ir)regular basis, or rather, I update only when I feel like doing so, hah. Neeways, there's naught much here to interest the general gossip-finder. Unless you're a stalker, a concerned friend, a spy. or a highly trained ninja. (ninjas are way cool, so, hi.) ♥ basecode:x |
back to the top
American Dad Body of Proof Bones Cold Case Criminal Minds Criminal Minds Suspect Behaviour CSI CSI : MIAMI CSI : NY Extreme Makeover Home Edition Family Guy Ghost Whisperer Hawaii Five 0 Human Target Junior Masterchef Kitchen Nightmares Law And Order: Criminal Intent Masterchef Masterchef Australia NCIS NCIS Los Angeles New Girl Person of Interest Prime suspect Project Accessory Project Runway All Stars Project Runway US Pushing Daisies Sherlock Storage Wars The Big Bang Theory The Body Farm The Cleveland show The Finder The Simpsons Top Chef Top Chef Just Desserts Undercover Boss White Collar Woha, never knew I watched that many shows until I listed it out. ♥, Jasmine. Sunday, December 25, 2011
5:46 PM -- Disappointment. back to the top
Seems like it ain't no different this year. /disappointed. ♥, Jasmine. Thursday, December 22, 2011
11:27 PM -- Songs were cried, not sang. back to the top
Though it's supposed to be a really joyous period, but I'm feeling pretty much bummed. Partially cause Grandma's not 'round anymore, and her passing would hang in the air at the family's celebration this year. Though I'm not really sure if it's right to be deemed as a celebration, kinda more gathering-ly like. I'm rather on the fence to join this year, on one hand, it'll be great to have family around, to carol, play cards and enjoy great food, all as one. But on the other, it'll kill my heart to feel everyone's pain. The half-hidden speck of sadness on everyone's faces. Everyone seems happy, yet not, all at the same time. I'm not that sure that I'll be able to pull through the killer wave of emotions once more. It was bad enough at the Hospital. With all the eyes so red and teary. With all the faces, a Mask of Strength. It was bad enough at the Wake. With all the songs Cried, not sang. With all the beautiful notes placed in Her hands. It was bad enough at the Crematorium. With all the flowers lining Her bed. With all Wails echoing within in our heads. It was bad enough after. With all the lost and empty looks. With all the strange quietness that hung. And it's yet to heal till now. I'm feeling pretty much alone this year end. In all ways, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Though this should not be so, though this should not be so at all. Lord guide me. ♥, Jasmine. Friday, December 9, 2011
9:50 PM -- Vanilla & Lime. back to the top
& watching the latest TopChef Texas,
I still feel lonely. ♥, Jasmine. Sunday, December 4, 2011
8:24 PM -- All my delight is in You Lord back to the top
In the stillness I know that You are God In the secret of Your presence I know there I am restored When You call i won't refuse Each new day again I'll choose There is no one else for me None but Jesus Crucified to set me free Now I live to bring Him praise In the chaos in confusion I know You're sovereign still In the moment of my weakness You give me grace to do Your will When You call I won't delay This my song through all my days All my delight is in You Lord All of my hope All of my strength All my delight is in You Lord Forever more - None But Jesus
♥, Jasmine. Thursday, October 27, 2011
2:26 AM -- Meringue Ganache Meringue. back to the top
Someone get me macaroons plz, from bakerzin or any other cool place. I'm so craving for them right now. Meh. ♥, Jasmine. 2:13 AM -- Pain threshold's close to zero. back to the top
1. Bring Diana F+ set out for a walk 2. Bring Canon out for a walk 3. Clean up my room. 4. Re-kick-start my selling journal 5. Get outfit-prepared for SIP 6. Sew an ideal wallet 7. Go to places in Singapore I've never set foot upon. 8. Go down to kidzark to help the cute kids. 9. Eat 10. Sleep. Well, all these would have to wait till this hectic month is over. The last two's kinda vague, perhaps it should be this: 9. Eat a proper meal, like a full blown 7 dish meal (hur-hur). 10. Sleep for at least longer then I do now, My current 3hrs of sleep ain't enough. It's 2.15am, and I'm up doing paper patterns and designing my 2 runway looks. Right then, bye for now. Time to get back to work. ♥, Jasmine. Tuesday, August 2, 2011
10:46 PM -- Fighting all that's in my mind. back to the top
I remember brighter days Before the dark ones came Stole my mind Wrapped my soul in chains Now I live among the dead Fighting voices in my head Hoping someone hears me crying in the night And carries me away Set me free of the chains holding me Is anybody out there hearing me? Set me free Morning breaks another day Finds me crying in the rain All alone with my demons I am Who is this man that comes my way? The dark ones shriek They scream His name Is this the One they say will set the captives free? Jesus, rescue me As the God man passes by He looks straight through my eyes And darkness cannot hide Do you want to be free? Lift your chains I hold the key All power on Heav'n and Earth belong to me You are free You are free You are free "Set Me Free" - Casting Crowns. ♥, Jasmine. Thursday, July 14, 2011
10:12 PM -- Secret #2. back to the top
I love hugs, even if it's for a brief second. even if it's a friendly-friend hug. Cause, it's the only time I feel that someone out there cares. it's the only time I'm able to put aside my insecurities. it's the only time I allow my walls to crumble. it's the only time I'm able to smile from the inside. it's the only time I feel safe. Yeah, I love hugs. ♥, Jasmine. Tuesday, July 5, 2011
10:54 PM -- Everyday, We're so very near, yet so very, very far. back to the top
It felt so real I woke up believing it all. A smile plastered across my face, I felt so prepared to start the day. Then reality kicked in, and I realized it weren't so. My mood tumbled down the meter, my mind willing itself to re-enter the dream. O' how I wish, you'll know the pain I'm in. Havin' to hide, Havin' to ignore, Havin' to pretend. O' how I wish you'll know. That you'll know how much I do wanna talk with you. ♥, Jasmine. Thursday, June 30, 2011
10:38 PM -- I stand in the shadows. back to the top
As she slips in Trying to fade into the faces The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know Farther than they know But if we are the body Why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the body Why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them There is a way? There is a way? A traveler is far away from home He sheds his coat And quietly sinks into the back row The weight of their judgmental glances tell him that his chances Are better out on the road But if we are the body Why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the body Why aren't His feet going Why is His love not showing them There is a way? But Jesus paid much too high a price For us to pick and choose who should come And we are the body of Christ But if we are the body Why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the body Why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them There is a way? If we are the body Why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the body Why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them There is a way? As Jesus is the way "If we are the body" - Casting Crowns ♥, Jasmine. Wednesday, June 29, 2011
11:34 PM -- "if we are the body" - Casting Crowns. back to the top
All those years back. Then at least coming back, I wouldn't feel so outcasted. It's so much harder to integrate now, with everyone already having their own bunch. The people I knew then, not many are still around. And those that are, a sense of awkwardness looms. Though we are one Body, I feel strangely hanging at the cliff's edge. Dear Lord, Give me strength. Dear Lord, Tide me through. ♥, Jasmine. Saturday, June 25, 2011
1:09 AM -- "JieJieJasmine, sit with me." back to the top
I've been kept pretty busy by the little cute ones at North View Primary. They're like, the cutest energizer bunnies. They've drained my energy each day, but yet, it's given me great joy to have fun with them. Being there, I've met old friends and made new friends. I've helped the kids with their homework, washed their bleeding wounds, comforting them when they cry, telling them "DONT RUN DONT RUN" handing out sweets, playing badminton, water games, captian's ball, soccer, basketball, dog & bone, police & thief, ice & freeze, duck-duck-goose, pepsi cola, "vampire-vampire-vampire-ceh" and not forgetting, exchanging facebook email, (lol). Yeah, they've got facebook. I'll miss them pretty much once I'm back in school, though I'm considering heading down on the days of which I end early on. They're like, little rays of sunshine among my dark and stormy days. Pretty fun, being around these kids. They aren't a single bit fake. ♥, Jasmine. Friday, June 10, 2011
7:38 AM -- Y U NO SEE, TT U'RE KILLING ME. back to the top
just makes no sense. It's the last term test paper today, though the term break doesn't seem like one with my given workload, but I guess it's comforting to know that I'll be away from all the crude. I've got citycomm volunteering during the first week (yay, looking forward to that) LSew to finish up PBPN assignment NLS assignment CSAS assignment Textiles research pack up room + update selling journal. ♥, Jasmine. Monday, June 6, 2011
12:26 AM -- Room #1. back to the top
on a pretty random side note, here's (half) my really messy room.  I so have pack it up after my term tests. There's clothes/books/things, like, everywhere. Man, sometimes I really do wonder how I sleep in this. Well, at least my bed's comfy. cushions & soft toys x100! (ps: I'm not usually this messy, those are just clothes I'm selling off.) HAHAHA.
♥, Jasmine. Sunday, June 5, 2011
11:56 PM -- Th' Pillars of insanity. back to the top
School's being such a drag to handle. These constant scrutiny I have to deal with, are just so darn critical. Wonder how long more would this facade keep up. Or even, if it'll ever end. If you're reading this, dear bully, Your constant taunts and spikes, does intrude my inner mind. Your words laden with spite and sarcasm, does poison my inner haven. Guess all these'll make you grin with pride, knowing that you've made me feel uptight. What have I ever done, I do not know. 'Cept, to not follow the status quo. For why should I, when I've got my own mind. Of which stands firm. Rooted in morals from within. O' dear life in school. Do bear with me. Just three years more, & I'll be free. Free from your grasp of insanity. ♥, Jasmine. Friday, May 13, 2011
12:16 AM -- 1 night in Beijing, is certainly not enough. back to the top
the fun we had on each bus trip, the games we played in everyone's rooms each night, the bond it created among all of us. Though the seven days might seem short, but it sure was the best time I've had, with complete strangers turned friends. Each day, was something new to be discovered. Each picture, told a story of what can't be explained. Each stop, left us memories to be reminded. I'm glad, after one year of school, I'm finally feeling real true joy, to be who I really am, & not get shot down for doing so. Knowing that I'll head to school each day, & perhaps bump into a few along the way. A wave of hands, A cheery smile, we'll stop to chat a little while. To meet for lunch, to meet for dinner, to sit in lectures all together. It brightens up my every day, to finally have friends that wouldn't look away. No lies, no fakes & no pretense, Now these are really what I call my friends. Love you awesome GC people, \m/
♥, Jasmine. Monday, May 2, 2011
9:34 PM -- I realize, it was only just a dream. back to the top
Call me slow, but I just found my current background sound, after a friend of mine told me to look for Sam Tsui. "Just a Dream" by Nelly - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie It's such a display of awesome vocals, and Christina's so pretty. Envy. ♥, Jasmine. 2:18 PM -- Thump. back to the top
The rhythmic tempo in my heart fluctuates, with each smile of yours, with each touch of yours. ♥, Jasmine. Sunday, May 1, 2011
3:50 PM -- What are words, if you don't mean them when you say them. back to the top
I wish, for someone to be by my side. To tell me that all will be fine, that all will be over soon. to cradle me in His arms, and watch as the tears flee my eyes. ♥, Jasmine. Saturday, April 30, 2011
10:15 PM -- Dear heart, please start to work in harmony with my mind. back to the top
The warmth of your breath. The look in your eyes. The strength of your mind. They wore me down. They wore me down. But I know I can't, I know I can't. Dear mind, Desensitize my heart.
♥, Jasmine. 12:44 AM -- Why, just why. back to the top
Why, are you this wonderful. Why, is  it impossible to be.Why are the nice ones never truly good, but yet the bad ones are always what they seem. Isn't there, someone?
♥, Jasmine. 12:15 AM -- For I am afraid. back to the top
I didn't. I didn't like it one bit. For I am afraid, far more afraid then back then. For I am confused, far more confused over the logic of it all. For I am weak, my heart and mind, so very, very weak. someone, pull me away. someone, wake me up. ♥, Jasmine. Thursday, March 24, 2011
3:42 AM -- back to the top
The side where all my soft toys are. The side I've not faced in months. For this is the side I use to cry. To brawl my eyes out only in the deepest of my hurts. For this is the side, Which muffles all sound escaping into the night air. I never knew loving someone would be so tough. Over a period of close to two whole years. Tonight, I've turned on my left side to sleep. The side where all my soft toys are. The side I've not faced in months. For this is the side I use to cry. To brawl my eyes out only in the deepest of my hurts. For this is the side, Which muffles all sound escaping into the night air. I never knew loving someone would be so tough. Over a period of close to two whole years. It hurts, It hurts me so badly to hear and see you cry. For I hurt, So much more. I hate myself for doing this, I really do. I do.. Oh sad side, Cover my tears tonight. Let this all be just some terrible dream, Let me wake up soon. Let me, Please. ♥, Jasmine. Friday, March 11, 2011
9:55 PM -- Maturity, at it's valley. back to the top
Thy ain't no synthetic soul, getting cohered into the rituals of pseudo camaraderie. Carry on you, be insecure. Call me names, throw me chains. I stand strong, beyond your understanding, against your chants. Fling, fling your boomerang of words, let it soar among the ears of those whom may listen. I fret not, for words would not pull me down. for words of fictitiousness will not shake my ground. Only those willing, only those true, only those whose hearts aren't brimmed with spite, only those whose lips aren't glossed with artifice, would then pass through. I have walked through that gate, years ago. I've seen and dismissed the childishness within me, for it serves no purpose, it serves no purpose at all. ♥, Jasmine. Saturday, February 5, 2011
10:53 AM -- You say, mm? back to the top
and truth came out, I just didn't know what to do. What did you say. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Friday, February 4, 2011
8:02 PM -- back to the top
and i tremble at it's call. My strength weakening with each eye I meet. Till now, my fear, is something, no one has understood. I'm dying for someone to know, for someone to save me, to save me from this pit I'm in. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. 7:36 PM -- back to the top
There's no festive cheer, it all feels so.. false. I want to go home, and burry into my covers. Somebody, save me. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Saturday, January 29, 2011
3:18 AM -- Floodgates. back to the top
I'm glad darkness embraces me. As it'll be the only one, The only one patient enough to watch as tears tremble down. The only one to not walk away. It'll see me through, Shield all prying eyes, Ask no questions, And yet be by me. Dear darkness, do spend a little longer around me. Hear my feelings, My emotions, My daily troubles. And sit by me, won't you. As I let loose my floodgates, Sending waves of turmoil through my eyes. Dear darkness, Stay by me. Don't walk away like everyone else. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Tuesday, January 25, 2011
3:12 AM -- back to the top
I trudge my feet across a mountain of slush. Placing my hand at the point, Just before I flip, I glance around, Taking in all that's around me. With route etched in mind, I trigger the switch and hurry back, Jumping into springy comfort. It's 3am. I've finished my leadership assignment. O' gnight world, See you at 6.30am later. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Monday, January 24, 2011
9:45 PM -- I CANT WAIT FOR THE HOLIDAYS #1 back to the top
Clean out my closet and try on every single item I have inside. parading in each piece for at least 5 minutes, before I actually decide if I should keep it. I think that'll keep me busy all day, let see.. (visualizes overcrowded wardrobe) yeah, it'll keep me busy. ♥, Jasmine. Sunday, January 23, 2011
9:10 AM -- ENT pains. back to the top
Why can't you two work in harmony with the rest of my body.
♥, Jasmine. Saturday, January 8, 2011
8:51 PM -- How do you know, he loves you. back to the top
I first watched it at your place. Brings back a little dash of memories. Sigh.
♥, Jasmine. Sunday, January 2, 2011
11:15 AM -- back to the top
doesn't feel like the last year's.
♥, Jasmine. 12:25 AM -- I still do. back to the top
I still do. Even though it's been awhile, I still do. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Wednesday, December 22, 2010
11:51 PM -- A whole new world, tumbling, fumbling. back to the top
not having someone who knows you that well be by you. For me to move into an environment of uncertainty, takes a great toll out of my limits. An environment so new, every step I take, I u-turn instead. An environment so fresh, every breath I take, clouds my positive thoughts. It's a whole new world, & I'm tumbling. My palms fumble along the fissure of these dark walls, in hope of finding some old among the new. I hope I ain't too late, before I succumb to the scarcity of air. Before the seals close shut, fencing me in. Inside a place, destitute of light, & happiness. ♥, Jasmine. 2:55 AM -- Wish I could trade this life for something new. back to the top
going through each day. Having to wake up, and realize all 'round me's naught. I sit and cry for a whole full minute, before putting on a facade of joy. I stumble 'long, as the day goes by, wondering when it'll all be fine. Wounds all over, unable to heal without a smoothing voice. Bruises all 'round, refusing to clear without a gentle hand. Occasionally, I'm able to feel devoid. Devoid of all emotion, and things round me. I'm afraid of the dark, the darkness closing around me. Enclosing me in it's cavity, with no prospects in view. It's Christmas soon, and tho I'm looking forward to the family gathering, my heartstrings tug constantly at the fact that this year, it isn't what it was then. Much have changed. A year, its sure been long. We've been through so much. The happy times and big smiles we had, all seem so far back. This Christmas, I wish I could feel as joyful as the last. This Christmas, I wish to smile again. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Saturday, December 18, 2010
1:03 AM -- When I feel, all alone. back to the top
though there are people around me. Wish things could be better.
♥, Jasmine. Wednesday, December 15, 2010
10:35 AM -- ItzOVARRR. back to the top
My term tests are ovar! I have my life back! Only for this week though, Before the onslaught of my projects catches up on me. But still, it's finally ovar! - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Monday, December 13, 2010
4:04 PM -- & just so you know, you'll never be alone. Cause I'll always be here. back to the top
Was in dad's car this morning, and I came across things on playing on the radio. Rather cool, and catchy. Crash and Burn - Savage Garden When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore Let me be the one you call If you jump I'll break your fall Lift you up and fly away with you into the night If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart If you need to crash then crash and burn You're not alone When you feel all alone And a loyal friend is hard to find You're caught in a one way street With the monsters in your head When hopes and dreams are far away and You feel like you can't face they day Let me be the one you call If you jump I'll break your fall Lift you up and fly away with you into the night If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart If you need to crash then crash and burn You're not alone Because there has always been heartache and pain And when it's over you'll breathe again You'll breath again When you feel all alone And the world has turned its back on you Give me a moment please To tame your wild wild heart Let me be the one you call If you jump I'll break your fall Lift you up and fly away with you into the night If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart If you need to crash then crash and burn You're not alone ♥, Jasmine. Saturday, December 11, 2010
2:15 AM -- Two bowls of prawn mee. back to the top
It hurts, to be alone on a friday night. No laughter, no talking. No morning fuss of getting you out of bed, a process I've always secretly enjoyed, giggling inwardly at your morning daze. I'm lost in a boggle of tears, nearly drowning in them. I'm managing to stay afloat, barely. Trust me won't you, to help you along. Trust me won't you, Things would get better in time. I know, I just do.
♥, Jasmine. Thursday, December 9, 2010
7:58 AM -- I want a hug.. back to the top
running a fever with a bad throat If feels as though I've ingested the work's supply of fishbones. If feels as though I've been stuck in the cooler, shivering beyond my body's limits. Why O'body, must you fail me now. Now of all times. My heart's as weak and hurt as it is. O'body, why you too. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. 12:11 AM -- Love, I want. Company, I need. back to the top
One's surrounded by them. When people don't love, One feels alone. I feel unloved, I feel alone. I wish I could feel loved. I wish I could feel surrounded. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Monday, December 6, 2010
10:53 PM -- But in the end it's distant shadows that finally overwhelm my senses. back to the top
Peaches, by New Heights You say good morning, and good evening The day is done, and you've come to find The words are fleeting, I hear your quiet breathing Is something wrong? You come on two knees, with more than two needs Finding that it's all too easy To be helped and found You slept and he said It is in you, to carry on It is in you, to lay down fears that hold It is in you, to find your way home Daylight's coming, the sun is blazing New beginnings seep into you But in the end it's distant shadows That finally overwhelm your senses And this time around Is it love that you crown? And this time around You'll be more than who you are It is in you, to carry on It is in you, to lay down fears that hold It is in you, to find your way home Whoa oh oh oh... Could you find yourself a way home? (4x) It is in you, to carry on It is in you, (ohh) to lay down fears that hold It is in you, (ohh) to find your way home ♥, Jasmine. 10:29 PM -- (Sick)le cell. back to the top
Though my term tests are like, a week more, it seems like my gears aren't even willing to start. My body's so dead tired, having to end school at seven almost everyday. I end up trudging back home, plopping my bag down, and sink my butt into the nearest soft spot. My whole self refusing my every will to budge. What's more, being weighed down by all my emotional turmoil, things don't look insanely awesome on my side of the grass plains. I do hope that things would turn bright soon, for you, for me, for all those around thee. I'm having a terrible headache, grh. ♥, Jasmine. Sunday, December 5, 2010
4:42 PM -- Unicorn. back to the top
Effin' random, but I want a pet unicorn to cheer me up. f' my hormones, be stable you miniscule things.
♥, Jasmine. 3:59 PM -- The faulty Carousel of my heart. back to the top
Sometimes I do wonder, how much you actually do care. Sometimes I do wonder, how much more of this pain can I actually take. Your nonchalant behavior drives my tears, Yet when you're around they dry up. What carousel am I on, it's a first I've been. To be on horses that go up, to be on horses that go down. All at the same time, they still go 'round. Wouldn't the machinery stop, wouldn't the mechanics spot a fault. Do I really have to go 'round, each and every time.
♥, Jasmine. Tuesday, November 30, 2010
1:53 PM -- back to the top
You hurt others. I was hurt by your words, Your words of spite and pride. Do learn girl, That everything in the world doesn't bend in your asile. You hurting others, Just for your pride. - Posted from my iPhone ♥, Jasmine. Sunday, November 28, 2010
6:27 PM -- For Christmas. back to the top
For Christmas. For Christmas, I would want so many things. For Christmas. For Christmas, I would want an Instax Mini in Chocolate. Yeah, it's another camera, I know. But at least I'm able to keep the prints properly, somewhere in a folder, or plastered all over my wall. For Christmas, I'll like that. For Christmas, I want a year's supply of ikea's piping hot meatballs. Served with their jam and sauce, not forgetting the potatoes. For Christmas, I'll like that. For Christmas, I'll want to get gifts for ALL my friends. Those closest to me, and to those whom I've just met. For Christmas, I'll like that. For Christmas, I want a smile plastered across my loved one's faces. To see their Joy on that really cool day. For Christmas, I'll like that. For Christmas, I wish my dad would join us for the family gathering, caroling along with us. For Christmas, I'll like that. For Christmas, I'll like all to be genuinely happy, even if it's for a day. For Christmas, I'll like that. Though Christmas is, say, a month away. I still so hope it'll move a little quicker to that date. For Christmas, I'll like these. ♥, Jasmine. Monday, November 22, 2010
9:44 PM -- Phone? back to the top
I wait for your call, gripping my phone each time it buzzes.
♥, Jasmine. Sunday, November 21, 2010
3:11 PM -- Ikea meatballs? back to the top
I have got this sudden craving for Ikea Meatballs and Chicken Wings. Insanely hungry, am I now. Urgh.
♥, Jasmine. Wednesday, November 17, 2010
6:12 PM -- I'm just, a little sad. A little. back to the top
Fingers intwined, Words previously unspoken. We gazed up high, in full knowledge of what we'd spoken. I won't admit, that I do like what was said, I won't deny, that I don't feel a little glad. Though it'll be different, in terms of many ways more then one. But as promised, I'll be here for you. Likewise, vice versa.
♥, Jasmine. Monday, November 15, 2010
9:57 PM -- Sticks and stones won't break my bones, but Lies would f'ever hurt me. back to the top
I'm feeling strangely lonely all of a sudden. I'm just sitting at home. With no one to smile with, with no one to talk with, with no one to laugh with. O' quite a heartache I'm having, with a gaping hole at where you last stand. Someone talk to me.
♥, Jasmine. Sunday, November 14, 2010
9:08 PM -- I Love, the Language of Love. back to the top
Love Language, a short, but none the less, touching, clip by Jubilee Project. An absolute heartwarming clip to the core which is now circulating the social sites, aiming to touch the hearts and souls out there, bringing in contributions to the American Society for Deaf Children. Targeted at the ones who treasure pure Love, (who doesn't anyway, it's all our weakest point.) the clip shows that Love can overcome all boundaries. Including one that requires our senses. I teared at the end, as the male lead struck the depths of my heart, "You're still beautiful." He wrote. And I believe so, for everyone's beautiful in their own way, regardless of whatever one can, or can't do, regardless of what one's likes, or dislikes. Our abilities are only part and parcel of our appearance, but it'll never get the chance to change who we really are inside. Our character and personality are what defines us, and that's what creates the beauty in below our layers, allowing then to shine out from the cracks of our appearance. Only someone with true intentions, would be able to see into the other party's cracks. Loving them for who they are inside, looking past the fears of the outside world. It is in us, to carry on. It is in us, to lay our fears that hold. It is in us, to find our way home. The simplest of simple clips, yet it has the ability to touch each one of us, on many of our deepest levels. A worthy clip indeed, to stay etched in my mind. I Love, the unspoken and universal language of Love. Link to the video can be found below: Peaches, by New Heights: ♥, Jasmine. 8:05 PM -- Salmon sashimi and soft shelled crabs. back to the top
I'm trapped in my fantasy, squirming in much agony. I've not eaten naught today, and I doubt I'll be eating anyway. I've been glancing at my phone, in hope that it'll ring the little message tone. An hour passed, two more, three more, six, twelve, fifteen.. eighteen more. I miss your tastebuds, I miss our breakfast/lunch/dinners, the fun we'll have when we eat together. the 'this-is-awesome' face you've got when we see salmon, the smell and cravings we had for the chicken rice stall. the fun we'll have at nihonmura, when we ordered way more then others. But yet strangely, we're able to finish them all. I've still got cool places I've yet to bring you to. Cool places where I'll want to bring you, just so I can see your face light up, as you tell be 'bout stuff. I want to secretly slip food into your bowl, a feat I'll always catch you doing, but somehow you'll never notice me. I want to hug you like a kola again, just like how on friday nights I'm afraid to go pee, you just open your door, going, "follow me" We'll then walk like penguins to the toilet, where you'll threaten to off the light while I'm inside. I'll mostprobly now tell you that I'm hungry, then we'll have coco crunch or some weird noodle, while we sit at the dining table, trying to make the least noise, in case we wake someone up. I miss the days, I miss the nights. But most of all, I miss having you near my heart.
♥, Jasmine. 9:51 AM -- We smiled with our hands, and gestured with our eyes. back to the top
Each morning I've got to try my best, to subdue to pain roaring in my heart. Today morning, I'd to try even harder, to cull the pain trashing in my heart. For Sundays were always a day of fun, and the family dinner afterward. A whole day together, and we laughed, and we talked. smiling with our hands, gesturing with our eyes. nudging with our eyebrows, gesturing with our feet. Each knowing really well, what we both meant. Each knowing really well, what we both wanted. I sit in a daze, and retrieve the images. one by one, they come back. To bring more spasms, to my aching heart. O' heart, won't you stop trembling. O', heart, won't you stop hurting. ♥, Jasmine. Saturday, November 13, 2010
6:53 AM -- You, my crutches of strength, pillar of reliance. back to the top
I used to cry only when something went wrong in life. Now I'm just crying all the time. Every morning, 5 minutes after I'm awake. Every toilet break I take, alone in the cubicle. Every night before I sleep, once I'm u'neath my covers. I cry where no one can see me. I cry just all the time. I've put in so much, just a tad more, and it'd been my all. Perhaps it was my wronging, to input so much, when at the end of the day, to you it was all nothing. Perhaps I trusted too much, to such a point that if I were the disabled, you were my crutch. Perhaps I'd cared and fussed excessively, to a degree of what I can't phantom, and you became unhappy. You were what life was 'bout, the fun, the joy, the laughter, the companionship. I am the disabled, take away my crutches and I fall. take away my crutches and I crumble. take away my crutches and I heave in tears. For there's 'naught now that I can rely on, for there's 'naught now that I can seek, for there's 'naught now that I can love. For there's naught now that I seem to live for. Seconds turn minutes, minutes turn hours, hours turn days. It just all seems so mundane. I don't seem to have a life. Home, School, Home. It all just makes no sense. Wish things weren't as they are now. Wish I still had you by my side. Wish this all would just condense, and disperse into tiny droplets, then evaporate into the vapour, never to be heard/seen of again. I wish. I'm like a ship without it's anchor, unable to dock, unable to settle, equipped just with sufficient fuel, to move 'round, and round. I miss you, I so do.
♥, Jasmine. 12:16 AM -- Friday/Saturday. back to the top
It's Friday/Saturday again. Wish I chose to stay over, so I could watch and wait till you jerk/twitch in mid-sleep, before I close my own eyes and drift off. It was like a reassuring thing to me, to know that you're finally asleep, safe, sound and resting. I miss Fridays. ♥, Jasmine. Friday, November 12, 2010
8:40 PM -- I wish I had someone to talk with. back to the top
I wish I had someone to talk with, cause I'm feeling so alone right now, of all times. I wish I had someone to talk with. I wish I had someone to talk with, someone with the key to my deep emotions. I wish I had someone to talk with. I wish I had someone to talk with, someone with a good shoulder to cry on. I wish I had someone to talk with. I wish I had someone to talk with, someone to transfer some optimism to me. I wish I had someone to talk with. I wish I had someone to talk with, someone who can lessen the load on me. I wish I had someone to talk with. I wish I had someone to talk with, someone to confide into. I wish I had someone to talk with. I wish I had someone to talk with, someone to share my day's laughter. I wish I had someone to talk with. I wish I had someone to talk with, someone willing to listen to my day's events. I wish I had someone to talk with. I can't confide, not even in those 'round me now. For they don't seem to understand. For I don't want to laden my pain onto others, burdening them with the weight of my shoulders. I wish I had a close one, I wish I had someone I can talk with, someone who doesn't mind listening to me drawl on. someone who feels that all my talk isn't a bore. someone who I speak with on the same wavelength. I wish I had someone close. I miss you, the times I'll tell you 'bout my day, complaining to you 'bout the junk in school, listening to you go on 'bout your work, 'bout how this customer is soooo irritating, 'bout how that nice lady complimented you. I miss you, your smiling face at the gate, your quirky remarks bout my t-shirts, your animated ways of speech, your sudden craves for random foods, your love for chicken curry over fish curry. I wish I had someone to talk, someone like you.
♥, Jasmine. 7:13 AM -- Miss you, more then ever. back to the top
to complete anything. Everything I start on, just seems nonsensical. Everything I look at, just seems unfocused. Everything I stand for, just seems like naught now. Days in school seem to last forever, with no promises of dinner once I'm home. Seconds strech into hours, with no promised smile of yours at your gate to think of. You were my senses, you were my guidance. Now without you, I seem to be fraying at my ends. Slowly loosing touch of all around me. I drift into dazed stares, unconscious lapses. I wish you were here, to help me see and feel again. I do so wish you were. I do so wish. ♥, Jasmine. Thursday, November 11, 2010
7:15 AM -- I miss the dinners we'd had together, the times we spent. back to the top
I've already lost you, and now he's gone too. I'm left alone, to curl up in the corner, feeling more hopeless then ever. I want someone to talk to, someone, someone like you. Was everything you said then true, or were you just saying them, to discourage me from being there, for you, with you. I'll still hold your promise in my palm, till the day you tell me not to. I'll choose to believe what you've said then, till it's been proven otherwise. 'Cause I believe you can. I believe you can be that cover, a full cover. I'll stay in wait here, I won't move an inch. So you'll know where to find me. Where to find me once you're fine.
♥, Jasmine. Wednesday, November 10, 2010
9:22 AM -- I've got a cheerful bunny mask, that hides my deep emotions. back to the top
I hate waking up in the morning feeling like shit. Just for a second I'll feel real good, right after that, shit just rushes in waves over me. I've got to go school, putting on a brave front that all's fine, when all that I really want to do, is just to hurl myself out of this world, lie face down in my pillow, and wail like a baby. I've got to keep the act up, till I'm in the holds of my blanket at night, cause I don't want ain't no soul to see me so weak. I've got to smile, and tell anyone who asks, that I'm fine, that I'm really fine, really. While my deeper emotions squirm/roar in their enclosure, angry at their denial. I've got to keep up the act, I've got to put the front on. I'll now put on my cheerful/happy bunny mask. I'm now ready to start the day. School school I go, in my bunny mask I show. ♥, Jasmine. 1:32 AM -- #1. You've known all along it wasn't true, you knew didn't you. back to the top
Stop crying, foolish girl. ♥, Jasmine. 1:18 AM -- The way you roll your eyes, it just sends me into sparks. back to the top
I am naive to believe, for it seems like I've never known who the real you is. A sham played out for the unsuspecting and over-trusting. I reel in pain, at the expense of your joy. I've already lost a part of me, a part which claws repeatedly at the base of my heartstrings. Now do I have to lose a friend too. More then ever, I believe I'm really living alone. I've lost trust in all. All except You. And I don't know why, but I still believe in Your Promise. I still Trust in You.
♥, Jasmine. 12:48 AM -- I trust in You. back to the top
Trust, lies, deceit, belief. They all just move in a circle, round and round they go. When they'll stop, nobody knows.
♥, Jasmine. Monday, November 8, 2010
11:54 PM -- I'm thinking, two is better then one. back to the top
Two Is Better Than One I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought "Hey, you know, this could be something" 'Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away And now I'm left with nothing So maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one But there's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two is better than one I remember every look upon your face The way you roll your eyes The way you taste You make it hard for breathing 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything's okay I'm finally now believing That maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one But there's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two is better than one I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought, "Hey," Maybe it's true That I can't live without you Maybe two is better than one But there's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking I can't live without you 'Cause, baby, two is better than one But there's so much time To figure out the rest of my life But I'll figure it out When all is said and done Two is better than one Two is better than one
♥, Jasmine. Sunday, November 7, 2010
10:31 PM -- The lit-up 'copter. back to the top
A bus ticket stashed away between the gaps of the chair infront, I plucked it out, and absent-mindedly folded a paper helicopter. I threw it up in the air, and watched as black spots filled my mind. Spots of the $1 lighted plastic helicopter, of how excited we were when we took turns to fling it, high into the night sky. Was that joy we had just a facade, a front put up, just to please one. A lit up helicopter, which now resides at the corner of your table, never to be played with again. I guess I'll buy one for myself, to relieve the joy I once had. To fling it up, as high as my ceiling would let it touch. and watch it fall, right back to the floor. By myself. It's cold out there, cover up, won't you?
♥, Jasmine. 12:06 AM -- Spun from yarn off the weaver's spool. back to the top
I gave it my all, but seems like my all was never anything to you. I'm starting to doubt, both myself, and your past words. Your promises, were they never what they meant? Your hugs, were they never what they were? Your tales, were they all spun from yarn? wanting to go on a cruise, wanting to go overseas, were they just all a manhole with misfit cover? So that I'll walk pass it, and fall beneath. Well, if it pleases your heart, then I've fallen. I've fallen. I've fallen and broken my left rib. ♥, Jasmine. Saturday, November 6, 2010
10:50 PM -- All that's been broken. back to the top
I'll like to speak to my heart, to get it to stop hurting so bad. to get it to learn to trust again, even after all that's trusted has been broken.
♥, Jasmine. 12:27 PM -- A week ago. back to the top
I ought to have stayed the night, so that at least, I'll be able to lie in your arms and fall asleep, so that at least, I'll be able to have prawn mee in the morning with you, so that at least, I'll be waking up to the face of yours, even if it's for the last time. Drat, I Regret.
♥, Jasmine. Friday, November 5, 2010
11:30 AM -- The glass sphere, molded by lies. back to the top
Got cut by a glass shard while picking things up, and I've only just started. Things so hurt a whole lot more then ever. Learn girl, learn. You've trusted the wrong again, and now you've got to learn how not to trust. ♥, Jasmine. 12:23 AM -- I talk to myself. back to the top
Pain. Endurance. Two words which aren't ever meant to be used in a sentence. "I'm enduring the pain."
♥, Jasmine. Thursday, November 4, 2010
11:08 PM -- A glass sphere, you've broken. back to the top
It's never nice being lied to. It's far worse when you're being lied to by a person of trust. A person of whom I've put all my trust into. A glass sphere I've entrusted you to hold. Only to see it break before my very eyes. A thousand pieces I'll have to pick, before I'll be able to reform the sphere once more. (I hope) A little bit of glue, A little bit of patience, A little bit of glass shards bites. I'll bleed, I'll cry. This I won't lie. But if it makes you feel better, then I'm glad. Cause if you're happy, so am I. Love you, always have, always will. Just disappointed, and it's a total understatement. It's a far cry from what I have to go through, when now's the real deal.
♥, Jasmine. Thursday, October 28, 2010
12:43 AM -- The fine lines of fissure. back to the top
Hope he'll be fine, Hope the darned bleeding stops, Hope the transfusion works. I've had a bad day, I've had a bad week, My head has been hurting for the past week. My stomach has never been in a worser mood. Though I doubt you'll know, Nor bother. Hurt, I am. Angry, I am not. ♥, Jasmine. Tuesday, October 12, 2010
10:01 AM -- I've seen a false prophet, and I'm not liking him one bit. back to the top
I have heard teachings of a false prophet, and I'm not liking it one bit. Each story, though true in it's base, deviates from the original. Each verse, though taken from the Bible, deviates from it's meaning. It sparked my outrage, It sparked my fear, It sparked my concern, for everyone drinking in the "cheer". It's in God's grace, that he gives us his blessings, but naught due only just to our offerings. I can only pray, and perhaps try, for what I believe would be better, for a friend of mine. (Dear friend, you know who you are.) I do hope, you've not strayed too far. 2Peter 2:1-3 But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. 2 Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. 3 In their greed these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping. 1 Timothy 6:8-10 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. Romans 16:17-18 17 I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18 For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.
♥, Jasmine. Monday, October 4, 2010
12:43 AM -- A secret a Day. back to the top
A secret a Day #1.
Hi, I'm 18. and I have never applied make-up. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't know how to. And I'm afraid that doing so would screw up my face, making me uglier then I already am. ♥, Jasmine. Tuesday, September 28, 2010
10:14 PM -- I AM GETTING MYSELF A.. back to the top
Baggu/Baggu(s) I'm ultra tempted to get myself a baggu.
Or rather, I've already confirmed that I'm wanting them, just that it pains me to part with my kaching-notes.    Nutmeg, Navy, Black.I'm tempted to get all three, they're just insanely awesome. Plus, they're in canvas, my absolute love. Now I'm just mashed-up on if I should get them online, @30buckaroos, or from Rockstar, @29buckaroos. Rockstar doesn't have stock for them, and they're unsure of when they'll bring in more. Ordering online gives me the full colour range, (Man, I'm so ubber tempted to get ALL the colours.) but shipping would cost me 2-3weeks waiting time. owell, decide soon human. You've so gonna use this for school. Urban Outfitter's/Urban Renewal Levi's Destroyed Denim The shorts are, like, the most awesome destroyed shorts I've seen thus far. Insanely cool.  There's the other in black as well.totally, totally, totally beeautiful. Urgh, want one. Hefty price though, The black one's @55, the light wash @40. Though they've got my size, and sure are cheaper then the ones at Topshop. Well, Guess that's all for my major Wants wishlist, there's loads more. But just for now, I'll stick to these two. Decide human, Decide. To buy, or not to buy. ♥, Jasmine. 7:37 PM -- Over and Out. back to the top
Hi,
I'm Jasmine. Eighteen this year, and I'm feeling insanely hungry. I'm currently sitting in syl's room, and while hugging his bolster, I'm watching him play BlackShot, aka (in other words), watching him dying/spam the mouse button, HAHAHA! A rather fun game, from my POV tho. I'm so wanting to head on down to nihon mura for a meal, though it's gonna cost me twenty bucks alone, and for two of us, it's gonna cost like, what, fourty odd. Though I'm in a sashimi buffet mood. I'm facebook messaging with Fang, who's away in Malaysia, enjoying (I hope) the cold winds of Genting, and enjoying great food, while I here, sit on a swivel chair deciding: to maggi mee or to not maggi mee. Hungry human, over and out. ♥, Jasmine. Friday, September 24, 2010
11:11 PM -- Beauti(fulgly). back to the top
I'm tempted to go for a photoshoot.
So that at least once in my life, I'll be able see a Beautiful me. ♥, Jasmine. Friday, September 10, 2010
2:59 PM -- back to the top
♥, Jasmine. Wednesday, September 8, 2010
5:15 PM -- I ARE IN TEH ZOMBIEMOOD. back to the top
I.
is. needs. new. (smart). brain. soon. current's gonna go exploding. donations nayone? Me promize it wunchz hurtz, Mmm, yum. (lick lips) ♥, Jasmine. Monday, September 6, 2010
3:42 PM -- welding. back to the top
Once again, I'm seeing a shadow of you everywhere. A part of you here, A part of you there. Not liking it, one bit. Screw my exams, my mind's all welding up.
♥, Jasmine. 12:50 AM -- I love you, I do. back to the top
I have to leave, I know I do. But I'm doing so, not because I've found someone better, as you've asked me to do so, as I've seen not just the better, but the best in you. I'm leaving because I do want you, I do want to be there for you, but yet I do want you to have a better life. Everything I've done so far, was never because of me, but only for you, and you alone. Love you dearest, I have, and I still do.
♥, Jasmine. Friday, September 3, 2010
12:15 PM -- Shoulders, yeah? back to the top
If only the load of this ever-stagnant-stress-pack I've got on my shoulders, could be upheaved, or lightened. I'll have lesser of these backaches, I'll have lesser of these headaches, I'll have lesser of these mood flares, and lesser of these emotional racket. Shoulders please, nayone? Mine's breaking. ♥, Jasmine. Wednesday, September 1, 2010
12:32 PM -- My whole of Yesterday, in a Paragraph. back to the top
Prawn mee.
Met Danielle. Study. Met Fang. Orchard. Mount E. Met Godma. ICU. HDU. Visit Godpa. Saw a million tubes. Saw a million beeping Machines. Saw a 6 inch wound at the windpipe. Got scared. Act strong. Hug Godma. Left HDU. Left ICU. Left Godma. Cried. Scared Fang. Left Mount E. Orchard ion. Takoyaki. Window shop. Talk 'bout depressing confidence levels. 313. Subway. Dhoby. Daiso. Mrt. Kovan. Home. Cried to sleep. I'm worried, when I see godpa like that. And what's more. He's the healthy one in the whole family. Godma's tumour, Godpa's cyst, and third aunt's cancer cells. If all the healthy ones are falling ill, then what about my own mom. She's fifty. It's life, I know. But I'm still afraid. ♥, Jasmine. Friday, August 27, 2010
3:39 PM -- Today's a depressingly fat day. back to the top
I've just finished watching an episode of "Huge" a Tv series which features a bunch of plus-sized youths attending some training camp. the ups and downs in there, the quarrels, the romance, the low-confidences, and stuff like that. It's like what they say, a mash-up of Glee and Ugly Betty. Sometimes, or rather, everyday, I'll just look at myself in the mirror, and go. "Wow, hey, I'm rather pretty today." Then I'll turn to another angle and be like, "Oh crap, I'm fat. Total fuglyness." I yearn for confidence others have, to be able to strut out wearing anything and yet still stand out. It's like an impossible task for me, take school for example, I'll wear something, and look at myself in the mirror, and find that I'll look fat in it. Change. Mirror. Still fat. Change. Mirror. Freaking fat and ugly. Change. Mirror. Heck, fatter, uglier. Urgh, mood down, confidence down. Cry. I find that everyone else around me, is prettier then me, regardless of their size. Everyone else in this whole Earth's pretty. Everyone except me. It's depressing, I know. People I've told that to usually eye-roll me, or tell me that it isn't true, I've got a friend who would show me pictures of ugly people, I've got a friend who would go, "I wouldn't befriend someone ugly. So you aren't." Another (or rather, three others) who went, "I would never love someone fat! So you aren't." And everyday, I'm glad that they're around, to inject a little joy in my life. Though, I'm able to tell others that they're totally fine, and that they should have some confidence in themselves, whenever they come to me telling me that they feel down. But it seems like I can never turn the words back at myself. My fingers start to tremble and the words just can't seem to make a 180 turn. Everyday, and I do mean, everyday, like in every second, every minute, every hour, I wish. I wish that I'll just be a tad prettier. A tad thinner. A tad more attractive. A tad more confident. A tad more of this, A tad more of that. I don't covert others for their lack of body fats, or their lack of ugly cells. But rather, I envy the amount of confidence they hold in the palm of their hands, the amount of pores capable of secreting confidence hormones, the shimy-shiny aura that surrounds them all. Something which seems to avoid me at all costs. Everyday I'm tempted, to propel myself out of my door in this skirt I've got in my wardrobe, to fling on the cutest tank top I've got stashed away in my drawers, to jump in the prettiest dress I've got in my cupboard. But yet, Everyday I'm reminded, of how ugly and fat my legs are, of how I don't have sandals to match because my feet are ugly, of how fat my upper arms are, thus sleeveless are a big no-no, of how ballooned my stomach is like, thus I'll look terrible in anything. Yes, It's getting a little depressing to read. But that's how my mind is everyday. It's this depressed, perhaps just a hundred times more. I cried once, tho the term "broke down" would be something more appropriate. Well, I broke down once, it was a really cool event I had to attend, required attire was a casual formal. I didn't know what to wear, and everything I threw on looked hideous on me. I tried top after top, bottom after bottom, but yet my body seemed to emit the worst seeming shape. I felt ugly, and totally obese. I wish, and I wish again, that one day, I'll be pretty. and just slightly thinner. slightly would do, to look great, and not as ugly. I wish. I do wish. Today's a depressing day. and that's all for my depressing words, I shall go depress myself further in a corner now. ♥, Jasmine. |